Gone is the saddened state.... ....replaced by fury, and acidic hate. My god. What it's like to be a woman. I've gone from tears to white-hot rage in the span of 48 hours. I have excess energy that begs for release, and a serving of high kicks and powerhouse slugs are on the menu. I've been spending way too much time watching Sidney Bristow take on baddies on Alias, and have 'Eye of the Tiger' pumping in the background while I work on my own abs by doing hundreds of stomach crunch...

I have got nothing. No new stories, no fascinating tales, no deep thoughts to share. Instead, it's just the same old song, playing endlessly in the background. I'm in a rut, making the same mistakes over and over, and because I've been doing it so long, it's not the pain it once was but it feels endless. No, my downfalls are of my own making. The need to always remain in control is going to drive me crazy. Because, in the end, it makes me unable to accept new things, even though I w...

I HATE dealing with 'customer service representatives', even though I am considered one myself. (Well, here they call us 'relationship consultants' but that's just a fancy name for someone who has to answer someone else's questions/rants.) For weeks now, I've been trying to get the 411 on the whole details of my student loan. Not to bore anyone with the details, but I've got 4 of them, so they say, all because of a change in policy created in the glorious year of 2001. What this means i...

I don't know what the deal is, but I'm crying one minute and laughing wildly the next. I always wished I was a boy. I thought they had it so much easier . You get angry with a pal, a simple fistfight and it's all over. Gone were the whispers behind my back, disappear my fear of public speaking. It didn't matter if you couldn't talk and you were a guy... you were simply the 'strong and silent' type. As a girl you were woefully unarmed, a red target on your back. As a boy there wer...

Okay, I've been sitting on my ass all morning. What I really need is an Ejector Seat. I'll just press the red, glowing button and through the magic of technology be catapulted on my way to productivity. As if. I have a list of things to do today, and nothing is really calling out. I have to: paint Kole's bedroom, do the dishes, go grocery shopping, make lunches for the next couple of days, wash the kitchen floor, vacuum, do banking, call my student loan officer. Is there anything o...

Well, I'd love to say that I quit smoking, kicked my habit of beer binging, or even got over my love for fast food. But no, it's none of the above. I quit my current night shift and transferred back to days. I admit defeat, and admit to feeling a bit like a loser for tossing the towel. See, I simply wasn't getting enough sleep. Whinge, whine, whatever, but I can't hack getting less than 5 hours. That's all there is to it. I was getting home (after shift at 6:30am and going to my paren...

Every couple of months or so, I try to encourage anyone who bothers to read my blog, to made/add to/update their My Favorites section. I find that it is very useful, especially to people with slower ISPs/dialup, because the forums is a bitch to load in a hurry. Of course, if you've got a lot of photos on your blog, having you on My Favorites is a bit of a bitch, too. So, if you care, this is my navigation path at the moment, and the only reason why it isn't any longer is because mo...

I don't know when he started, but his bad habit is now becoming mine. My father used to be wholesome. That is, if he was in between meals, he'd eat an apple, munch on a banana, or cut up some watermelon slices. These days, he has a not-so-secret stash by the computer. A bag of Doritos, a container of pretzels, and another cellophane wrapped bunch of candy. He's got peanuts upstairs, and I'm convinced that he bought double the Halloween candy because he wanted some, too. His hab...

I mentioned it before; my grandmother died this spring. It's taken months for the probate to do whatever a probate does (to be honest, I don't even know what the hell a probate is!) but slowly, things from her now-sold condo are making their way into our family's homes. I've lived a college-life existence. Futons, used furniture, and mismatching cups, plates, and silverware. I have more invested in books than anything else... I've got four large book cases crammed to overflowing. Kole,...

(I guess the only reason why I'm not posting this in the Forums is because it seems to me that this is where the trouble lies: you can have an opinion and post in your own blog all you want, but as soon as it hits the forums, it's a valid reason to persecute someone else for their opinions.) I never really gave a shit about Manya because, aside from posting a few somewhat attractive pictures, the content of her articles weren't that interesting. What was interesting was the reactions from...

After the debut of the trailer for the new "Bridget Jones:The Edge of Reason" movie, the powers-that-be decided to release it a week earlier after recieving good response from the audience. I'm wanting to see it as well, but have noted how many other people are placing a lot of importance on Renee Zewelleger's weight gain for the role of Bridget. The movie is about a woman with insecurities, but not just that. It's about trying to find out who you are, and what makes you happy. I thin...

I can't help but think that some people ask for their own hurting. I've been trying to write my feelings on this, several ways now, and I just can't get it out. Except to say that we, as humans, are almost always our own cause of misery. Self-inflicted depression, we darken our days black, the color of our own choice, and then feign innocence about the whole deal. Why don't you just drive? I went to Whitby two days in a row. Whitby, for me now is just another city an hour or ...

I have the feeling that I am not doing so well in the mothering category. Lately, it seems as if I am handling things wrong, or just not getting the outcome that I expect. The worst thing about it is that I feel guilty and inadequate, even though I am doing my best. I don't know if the problem is because Kole is getting two very different parenting-styles, or if I am expecting too much or even too little, but the end result is behaviour that I do not approve of. Yesterday, she literally s...

There are so many things that pop into my head that I just can't figure out where they come from. The other day I had an old Monkee's song in my head and I swear that I haven't heard it for ages. What would trigger that song to rise from the depths of grey matter and make itself known in the bloody elevator at work.? I know I'm asking for it, but I'm listening to Best of the 80's while blogging. Mr Roboto is on the air, and its just pure delight. I loved this song as a teenager, and ...

For several days now, I've been vacillating between blogsites. I have one at LJ which is discontinued, simply because I've forgotten my bloody password. I enjoyed using the site, because the support and styles offered to personalize my blog was excellent. I started one at blogspot, and again, its fallen by the wayside because I wasn't doing anything different there than I do here at Joeuser. Lastly, I've been starting to form one at modblog, simply because some of my favorite bloggers are...