At the gym, all the fitness equipment is stored in the middle of the room, with a walking track encircling it all. At the end of the room and beyond the track near the great panes of glass is the weight area. Here, men and women flex and lift, grunt and groan. I never use the weights. I feel kind of awkward asking people how to use the Nautilus equipment, and have no clue where to begin with the handweights. Because of the track though, I walk by the area every ten minutes or so. I go f...

I remember reading The Guiness Book of World Records as a child only to have my brain scalded by images never even imagined before. The World's Tallest Man, The World's Fattest Woman, The World's Smallest Human... yes, that was interesting, but it was the other freakshow stuff that startled me and gave me bad dreams at night. I'm not talking about deformities or odd displays of nails driven through arms, or seemingly average men lifting tractors in the air. The freakshow stuff for me was ...

Every once in awhile, when I have friends over, they take to looking over my bookcases. I've got plenty of reading material, and is fairly organized, which is surprising because everything else in my life is so random and scattered. I don't know why, but of the thousands of books that I own, the book entitled 1000 Names For Baby is the one most remarked upon. I've had the very pointed questions trying to find out if there's something in the oven, and semi-crowing of being over-nastalgic, b...

Because autumn usually brings out a bitterness in me, I've been spending a lot of time at home, or at other people's empty houses. I'm filled with rage these days; at drivers who don't know the rules of a four-way stop; at men who think that everyone has had a crush on them, at one point or another; and at a culmination of minor household catastrophes that include a non-functioning water heater, lightbulbs that seem to all die at once, and continually missing the rinse cycle to put the fabric...

It's been a series of ups and downs, as usual. I've made some changes in my life, including a regular excercise routine (after 2 months a build-up to 60 minutes of cardio every 5 - 6 days), elimination of sugar in my diet (okay, Hallowe'en got me a bit), and a decrease of white foods (only 12 grain, whole wheat pasta, and brown rice. Yum.) My smoking has decreased because I don't stay up late anymore, and I've taken a leave of absence from the local bar scene. Yep, that's a change. But s...

I'm boring myself, lately. Too much socializing, and while some of it is work-related, it's starting to feel like habit. I don't know how the bigwigs do it, but there are so many events, performances, and meetings I should be attending, in order to promote both my position and my company. However, the majority of these events are surrounded by gossip and alcohol, both of which fuel each other. I keep my back against the wall, and luckily, I don't often get asked pointed questions. I ten...

My life is on hold these days, waiting for grants, phone calls and money to come in. I'm tired. So tired. I've been trying to kick my beer habit and spent the previous night sipping red wine, and later, Jägershots. Bad move, of course, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, I'm cursed with a pounding headache that I don't dare complain about and have sore legs from walking all around the downtown core going from party to party. It all sounds pretty bad, but it was actually a r...

I'm still alive, barely. I've got this damned cold, the one I knew I'd get even way back in June. It never fails; the kids are in school for their first week, and the next week, I'm coughing, heaving, and generally feel like death. How's that for prediction? I'm no longer working for the university. I've opted out of that mess, and have gotten myself into a whole new one. I'm working for TNT (The New Theatre) in my hometown, and I'm totally surprised that I was able to transition int...

I'm in the final stretch of my work at the Theatre. I've completed my original contract, was asked to work for the Centre for Indigenous Theatre (Toronto) for 3 weeks, and have agreed to carry on an extra week with my original employer. I'm relieved that it's almost over, though not glad, simply because unemployment and all that bullshit is looming, without a bright light in sight. It's hard remaining at work with a person I don't really get along with, professionally. As a person, I adm...

There's so much running around in my head these days, that it's pretty hard to think straight... This is my last offical production at the theatre, and it's running slowly, but smoothly. For my job at least, the first week of a 3 week residency is rather slow. As there's a stage manager present, I don't have the same chores and tasks that I usually have. I don't have to keep stage notes, I don't have to revise schedules, I don't have to hold everybody's hand while trying to run around for ...

I'll admit it; I miss blogging. I miss writing , actually. It's funny, but somewhere between work and my home life, I've given up the daily act of writing, then posting every random thought, every turbulent emotion, every questionable behaviour outted by myself, quite freely. Even more though, I miss the exchange, the socialness that is Joeuser. Most of my favorites are gone, though. I guess they've moved on as well. Something keeps bringing me back here, though. You know the say...

I've been hiding out in a basement today, both trying to keep cool, avoiding the phone, and not wanting to speak to others. I feel like a teenaged boy as I surf the net endlessly, listening to music way too loud, and funneling caffeine like it's spring water. The only thing missing is the porn. I am having work issues, and am just fed up after a rather tense exchange of voicemail and email with my boss. There are so many ways to lay it all out, but I'll take the short road and simply say t...

I entered the bar, and man, was it hot. Everybody thinks Canada is one motherfucking cold place, and I suppose, in some parts, it is. But in my little part of the country, it's pretty manageable. Yes, you need a winter jacket after Halloween, usually, and no, you aren't wearing longjohns into April. However, I don't know if it is global warming or not, but the summers seem hotter than a tin roof rusted, and it's already begun. I can't take the heat. I'm not fond of frigid temperature...

I stood in the middle of a thunderstorm the other day, getting soaked but not minding much. It was scarier only five minutes earlier when the sky was grey and the wind whipped viciously, lobbing hail like confetti at a freakshow wedding. I really thought that a tornado was about to touch down as the sky was green, and I couldn't see the river anymore from my office window. The building had been empty, as most were done with convocation and had left for other places. I was alone in my wing of...

For all the new things in my life, I find it increasingly comforting to go back to what I'm used to. These days I'd rather listen to classic rock than the brand new album of the new star of the minute. I'm not one for changing my wardrobe to have the latest things, and I'd rather stay in my housing unit than actually have to find new digs. The old is comfortable for me, and while I don't live in the past, nor fear the future, I just know what I like. I know that I like raising my gir...