My life is on hold these days, waiting for grants, phone calls and money to come in.
I'm tired. So tired. I've been trying to kick my beer habit and spent the previous night sipping red wine, and later, Jägershots. Bad move, of course, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, I'm cursed with a pounding headache that I don't dare complain about and have sore legs from walking all around the downtown core going from party to party. It all sounds pretty bad, but it was actually a rather tame night. I didn't really feel like doing much, so passed the night away dropping in at all sorts of different places. The killer came by way of a 4:30 am trek home; I usually cab it, but for some odd reason, I thought that a good 2 mile walk in ballerina flats was a good idea. My cramped legs this morning told me otherwise.
I've lost 20 pounds. I've been hitting the gym for the past month and a bit and it's good for me, not just physically, but mentally. I do nothing but blast loud 80's dance music on my mp3 while on the treadmill, cycle or elliptical thingy, but I've noticed a calmness that surrounds me later. The gym suits my competitiveness, but I'm still having a tough time feeling happy about the actual process. I hate every bloody step I take, every muscle I use, every drop of sweat I produce. I can't believe people actually enjoy working out. The end of my workout is the best, knowing that I've put my 45 minutes in, and can finally get showered and go home. It's a love-hate thing, I guess.
I'm learning to play the guitar. I've only got a couple of chords in my pocket, but my fingers don't hurt anymore, and the stuff I do know, I know it well. No peeking, no stutter. It's all going to come together, I'm certain. I guess I gotta figure out why I'm learning. I don't have anything particular in mind. No songs that I just gotta know. I know next to nothing about songwriting, but I guess I'd rather be prepared if that's a road I want to travel on, sometime in the future.