anti-prose. random matter.
no wonder I am an insomniac
Published on February 28, 2004 By crimson In Misc
I don't know why I can't fall asleep. I've always been this way... at least, I remember suffering from insomnia since I was about 10. It comes and it goes and 'suffering' isn't really the word now; just a part of life.

My head just whirs with random thoughts, brief musical melodies, and audio blurbs of movies and tv shows watched in the past. They say that writers are often afflicted with this problem... yeah, I consider myself to be one, even though I don't make a whole lot of money at it. (I wrote for a newspaper and contributed to other forms of media, periodically.) I write a lot of fiction stuff too, and have lately been involved with playwriting. It's strange, but I see, while trying to fall asleep, sentences flash by. Some are meaningless, others prompt me to get up, and start off on that tangent.

After being on Joeuser for awhile, even taking into account time differences, I know that I am not the only one here who has trouble sleeping. Before I had Kole, I used to go out for walks at night. Now, I feel cooped up because I can't leave the house. I'm glad to have finally gotten internet access again, but it's not the same. After coming home from my late-night walks, I would be tired, and would welcome the sight of a nice warm bed. Now, I just go to bed and wait... hoping for the moment where my brain stops it's conscious train-of-thought; leaving me with nothing but welcomed silence.

At least, until I start dreaming.

Comments
on Feb 28, 2004
I'd like to thank you for this article. It pretty much sums up the exact same problem I have about having too much on the mind to go to sleep. I even wrote my own article about it awhile back when I couldn't sleep. It just makes me feel better knowing others are the same way, as bad as that sounds. Actually, the more people I talk to, the more people I find out have trouble sleeping. Maybe it's something about our modern lifestyles, maybe it's just that all my friends are similar in their thinking to me, I don't know. Anyway, thanks again.
on Feb 28, 2004
I can relate. Sort of. I've suffered from insomnia for three years, I'd only fall asleep when my body was so exhausted that it couldn't stay awake any more. I tried various drugs and home remedies and none of them worked. I ended up sleeping mostly on the couch, my back hurts till this day (that was back in 1997-2000). The fallout of my insomnia is that I've become addicted to falling asleep in front of the tv. If the tv isn't on I just can't sleep. I suppose what a yapping tv does is block out all the thoughts that would normally prevent me from calming down, I'm not sure. What's intriguing is that if I sleep with someone I can fall asleep without any problems. Go figure.
on Feb 28, 2004
my insomnia grows with age...I think I'm heading down the same path as my dad who sleeps about 3 hours a night. Regardless of when I go to sleep I'm doomed to wake up at 6am or so...not very good for the nightlife....or my health, but at least it gives me a chance to get my ass up and be crabby for more hours than most people.
on Feb 28, 2004
It definately happens to us all... I have no advice...sorry man.

Trinitie
on Feb 28, 2004
I'm the same as Macky...I can't fall asleep without the TV on. I've tried, and it seems like the silence is just too much, you know? The background noise from the TV going helps drown out the crap going on in my head.

I've had problems sleeping for years now, and nothing really seems to work. When it gets really bad (i.e. less than 3 hours broken sleep a night for over a week) I'll go see my doc and get put on Ambien for a couple of days...it's supposed to put you back into a regular sleep pattern, but for me it never does. I just get a few nights really deep, restful sleep and then I'm back to my usual tossing and turning for 5 or so hours.