anti-prose. random matter.
dare to question...
Published on October 14, 2005 By crimson In Blogging
I admit it. I follow the flame wars.

I signed up here Dec/04, and have seen quite a few people go down like a torpedoed ship after antagonizing the wrong people, blurting out an ill-thought statement or accused wildly in panic. I've often wondered during moments where it looks to be quite clear that there is a clear-cut winner and a clear-cut loser why few ask the question "Why don't you just leave?"

First of all, it's harsh. Even when Bobby Drake suggested to Rogue that it might be better off for her to hit the road in X-men 2 when it really was Mistique, it still came out brutal. When Frodo told Sam that he should just go home, I started bawling, too.

I think it boils down to this: people who ask the question tend to be bullies. If questions were weapons, it would be a swift silver bullet; one aimed directly at the heart. Now some might protest that they're being honest. Hmm, just because honesty is present, it's probably safe to point out that it's walking hand-in-hand with asshole-ness. (yeah, not a word, pfft.) It's not difficult to see where the real truth lies.

I believe that it comes straight down from childhood, when it was thrilling to actually tell someone they weren't wanted. It was easy to hurt somebody's feelings and while you knew it was impolite it felt damned good to let it all out. It was like ripping a bandaid off of someone, afterwards stating that the quickest is the best method over a long, drawn-out pain. Both hurt like hell, but it was more fun to be shockingly violent.

And like a fight in a schoolyard, it's hard not to crowd around and root for a winner. Or sass out the loser. And flame wars are like schoolyard fights, and while it may be childish, it's also as exhillirating as an average day gets. Are flame wars really about the issue at hand, or can they also just be a way to release frustration built up from common everyday problems?

I've always wanted to ask the question though. "Why don't you just leave?" The sad thing here is that while I'd love to say that simple good manners prevent me from doing so, honestly, I've seen too many 360s happen. And guess who might just end up with a target on their butt?

Peace, friends. Don't shoot.

Comments
on Oct 14, 2005
I agree with you completely.

It has truly become exhausting to read things on here, which is why I pretty much don't anymore.

It seems to me that no matter how long people pretend to be civil here, it's all just a prolongued charade, with everyone just one second away from stabbing someone else in the back.

In a way, after witnessing the little cliques here close ranks (and watch the cliques come now to insist they're not cliques) its fun to see them turn on each other too. Then again, you can only watch so many train wrecks before you get bored.

It used to be fun to read and write on here.
Now it's like middle school.

Then again, why don't I just leave.
on Oct 14, 2005
We need to respond thoughtfully instead of react emotionally. Sometimes I type faster than I think though which can get me in trouble.

I wouldn't tell anyone to leave but I would say if its upsetting you that much take a break and chill then come back.
on Oct 14, 2005

Another thing to remember with fights.  The parties often patch things up.  And if you picked a side, chances are good, you will be on the outs after the fight is over.

That is why so many divorced couples wind up losing all their pre-divorce friends.  The friends dont want to pick sides, and so stay out of it, and those fights are not kiss and make up.  SO both parties resent the neutrality (You should see it my way!!!)

Do you know why divorces are so expensive?

They are worth it!

on Oct 14, 2005
I would say if its upsetting you that much take a break and chill then come back.


I'm not really bothered by it at all. Just an observation from someone who doesn't actually get involved in these matters, even though I do click on the links...
on Oct 14, 2005
Then again, why don't I just leave.


hehehe. I see.
on Oct 14, 2005
It's always fun to mock those who are threatening to take their ball and go home, and I do it too, but I also realize that we need the ball to play the game, so sometimes that mocking comes back to haunt us when someone really does just pack it in and splits.


Another thing to remember with fights. The parties often patch things up. And if you picked a side, chances are good, you will be on the outs after the fight is over.


I guess my point somewhere in this is that, I do find myself taking sides. If I don't know the other person well enough, I'm bound to side on the ones I do know. Not really fair, but I'm more apt to give someone I regularly read the benefit of the doubt, than a person I'm unfamiliar with. I haven't pounced on anyone, because it's easy to see how an unwanted opinion can really create havoc.
on Oct 14, 2005
They know damn well I write these sorts of things from time to time,


And that's one of the reasons I like what you write. Your pen as a sword is delicious! YUM YUM....(uh as long as its not slashing me......hypocrite that I am!!)
on Oct 15, 2005
don't leave a post chastising me like a child, or threaten to quit reading my blog


I
I may just have to write a whole article about this...


Good point, and good idea. Genius burns.
on Oct 15, 2005

I have never asked or expected anyone to take sides in my little flame wars, but one thing does annoy the fark out of me, and that's the people who sit on their high horse and tell me I shouldnt be writing what I write, as if they are so civilized they would never dream of engaging in such childish drivel.

Guilty on previous occassions.  No longer.  I let them peter out.

Some of us learn.