anti-prose. random matter.
Published on April 24, 2005 By crimson In Blogging
I've always took being able to read for granted. I was a very early reader, and my mother says I never struggled with it at all. In fact, she said that I was able to read kids' books by age two. By kindergarden, I was reading the newspaper and novel-length books. I asked her how she taught me and she shrugged, saying that she never taught me, that I had taught myself. She did note that I was obsessed with Sesame Street; with the phonics program, in particular.

However, I'm faced with a different situation. Kole is 7 and is still not reading. At all. She barely recognizes her alphabet, although she can recite it forwards and backwards easypeasy. She has a very strong memory that has allowed her to progess as far as she has without great difficulty, but now is when it is all starting to catch up. She's currently being tested for a language learning disability, and its been hard to convey what's going on to her. I don't want her to have negative feelings about this, but she's been starting to call herself stupid, which is, to say the least, shocking. I don't know if other kids are saying things to her, or if this is a new thing that she's picked up, but she never used to feel this way about herself. In fact, she has very strong math stills, and loves learning about science and doesn't hesitate to speak up in class or present in front of an audience.

I've also been trying to express to her how amazing she is in other ways. Her teachers have always remarked about how polite she is, and how she goes out of her way to try and help others. She really knows how to problem-solve issues, and handles confrontation confidently.

I'm worried that all of this is going to change if she doesn't come to this realization soon: that just because she has difficulty in one area it doesn't mean that she's any lesser of a person.

Man, I wish I knew how to make her understand that all of this is not a big deal. It's important, yes, but its something that we will work through together. I can't help but feel sad when I know she's trying so hard to understand, and it's just not working. Her frustration physically pains me, not to mention when I see her getting so down about it.

Argh.... sometimes it's hard to know what to do.

Comments
on Apr 24, 2005
Nicky: Just the way you so wonderfully describe all of her assets tells me you love her deeply
and she'll know and feel that too.
Your love for her will guide you in getting through this. As smart as she is it's probably frustrating
to her to have a weaker area, and hence her calling herself stupid.
My son felt really bad when a socialworker one day referred to him as disabled, and I just told him that all of us, everyone has
a "disability" of some kind, that none of us is 100% at everything, it's just that sometimes we can't see other's disabilities
or limitations.
Hang in there
Trudy
on Apr 25, 2005
I don't want her to have negative feelings about this, but she's been starting to call herself stupid, which is, to say the least, shocking. I don't know if other kids are saying things to her, or if this is a new thing that she's picked up, but she never used to feel this way about herself. In fact, she has very strong math stills, and loves learning about science and doesn't hesitate to speak up in class or present in front of an audience.


Kids can be cruel alright. And as a kid, it's easy to focus on what you can't do when your friends can. It's tough. The positive reinforcements would definetly help. Much courage and strength to your daughter, Nicky.
on Apr 25, 2005
Thanks to all who wrote. We are currently doing a phonics program right now, which seems to be going much better than what she was learning previously, the first one hundred words, and alphabet by rote. It's challenging, but I'm sure she's going to 'get it' soon.
on Apr 25, 2005
Nicky--I'm sorry to hear that Kole is having a hard time--but I think that you have a great attitude about it and that Kole will pick up on your thoughts/behavior.

Good luck.
on Apr 25, 2005
You're a great mom and you're doing all the right things, encouraging her, supporting her, praising her - really good reinforcements.

Like Raven said, kids can be cruel at times, especially when they see some other child having a difficulty, and that's probably where she picked up the "stupid" name calling from.

That's great you're doing a program with her. You can also borrow tapes or DVD's from the library with programs that teaches children. It seems she will be reading better in no time though, so keep up the good work!