As hot as my temper can boil, I also find it pretty easy to avoid fights. In fact, now that I am older, I find it wiser to just forget about it, than to hash everything out in the heat of the moment.
My sister is not like that. My sister pretty much calls me a coward when I get up and leave. She throws accusations wildly, stating that "You always do this. You can never finish a discussion, you always have to run."
Grrr. It's not that I don't want to continue our 'discussion' (which is usually held at the top of our lungs). It's that I honestly believe that after 34 years of being sisters there are some things that simply won't change. And to me, screaming out angry, bitter words isn't 'discussing', it's aiming bullets to each other's hearts.
Almost everything that we've fought about in the past year has been stuff that we've fought about the year before. And so on. In fact, I'm convinced that we rarely fight with each other for pertinent reasons. Instead, we take our own frustrations about daily life out on each other by using just the right excuse for the other person's actions to just let loose.
Well. I've said it before, and I'm sure that I'll say it again. But at this moment, I'm done. I'm bloody well sick of all this useless but harmful warring. I've taken several steps back from hanging out at home for a reason. I miss my dad a lot, and worry that I'm not spending enough time with Skylar, but I can feel the acid rising when I'm with my mother and sister alone.
What is the point in feeling this way? Now, some might recommend talking about these issues, but frankly, I've mentioned it before. On more than one occasion. And if they didn't get it that time, what's the use in trying to address the issue again. Because to me, it's an issue. To them, it's just something that I am overreacting about.
Shit. I'm done talking about it now. I think I'll just go on, grab my book and go to the coffee shop. I'll spend some time cooling off, and hopefully by the time work begins, I'll be in a better frame of mind.
Hopefully.