stupid, stupid, stupid...
I know that the word 'stupid' for many people is just not done. It's one of the last things you want to hear your kid say about someone else, or heaven forbid, in reference to themselves. But there really are stupid people out there.
I was at work tonight and a woman called up, asking me how to access her voicemail. Easypeasy, but yes, I understand that there is a generation or two that might not be that familiar with electronic equipment. So, I ask her some information about her cellphone and it was like prying nails from a coffin. She just did not want to give up information readily. She complained incessantly about my company's service and was literally whining about how difficult her life was becoming because of her problems dealing with us.
So, I let her vent. And then I tried to run through steps into accessing her voicemail. I enquired about her password, and she flipped out. Said that she didn't remember it. Never knew how to do it, so then I asked her if she wanted it to be reset. And she flipped again. She asked various questions, never letting me fully completing a task before hopping onto another subject, and proved that she did not even know basic functions of her phone. She did not know how to access her menu. How to scroll down and hit the select button. And so I had to walk her through it all. And she still could not do it.
The end result of the phone call is that, aside from actually making my way to New York to visually show her how to do these simple actions, I had to finally ask her to go to her local company store to get them to show her how to work it. I literally could not explain to her how to complete these functions without her completely going beserk.
This is what I wanted to say, point by point:
Point A: It's not a service issue. It's an intelligence issue. There is only so much information that I can provide for you, but I cannot physically make these changes because you can't follow these steps word for word. I have told you which specific button to press, but if you cannot follow through, it doesn't mean that you should get bonus minutes.
Point B: After carefully reviewing your account. It appears that you have this problem with every single representative that you've encountered. I see a lot of notations about accidental dropped calls during 'troubleshooting' conversation. I assure you, it was no accident. I've just had more patience than the other 40 or so reps that you did contact.
Point C. If you really want help, try being receptive for information. Try being a little bit courteous. And try to accept some constructive, and polite criticism. At this point in our conversation, you have to be able to understand that I've done absolutely everything to help you. Step by step. A dealer can program this information into your cellphone for you, since you cannot. Asking to speak to my supervisor isn't going to make it any clearer for you. He's going to tell you the exact same thing that I just have.
Point D. Understand that since you have asked to speak to my supervisor to pass on the exact same information that Iv'e just provided for you that he is going to have to arrange to call you back. He has 'real' work to do. I know that 2-24 hours seems like a long time to wait to speak to him, but he really will get back to you, once he's completed work for other customers that have actual issues.
Arrghhh!!!!
The end result is that she said that there was no way that she was going to let a supervisor call her back, and actually waste her valuable minutes. She had the nerve to hang up on me. Thank goodness for me, but I sure do feel sorry for the next rep that takes her call.
And, finally, in relation to the title of my article 'Dealing With Stupid People', I want to note, that I do not, in any way, feel that she is stupid because she lacked the intelligence to access her voicemail after recieving step-by-step instructions. I feel this way simply because it was her fucking stupid attitude that made her call become an unpleasant one.
So stupid in fact, that it worked me up enough to write what has been the longest article that I've probably ever created in my history as a Joeuser writer.