I've actually offered my babysitting services this evening, just so that I can get some time to write. I've got the station set to 'The Flintstones' and have given both girls a handful of marshmallows and a cup of lukewarm hot chocolate. It is in blissful silence that I write. Well, 'silence' as far as a four year old and a six year old are concerned...
I guess because the year is winding down, and everybody seems to be talking about sex lately, it's been making me think about what I haven't been doing this year. There's been flirtations, and a couple of crushes... both which are turning into some pretty satisfactory friendships. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't miss it, but I am glad to be avoiding some of the pain that surrounds my sometime wanton behaviour. Now, avoidance is good in some ways, but maybe one of this year's resolutions might include giving myself permission not to overthink every fucking detail to DEATH. By focusing too much on everything, and not doing a damned thing about it I've left myself without a winter date, a holiday fling, and a hundred of other opportunities that can't be easily categorized. I either go for intense, rapid relationships, or drive away any opportunity by inaction due to deep thinking. Blah.
I've been working my ass off. Figuratively, and literally, I suppose. My running program is hindered by the shitload of snow that was dumped upon us, but it turns out, trudging through snowpiles is equally effective. My pants are looser on me, and, oddly enough, my underwear keeps slipping off. I have been getting weird muscle spasms in both my thighs and my calves. I guess, both muscle groups are shocked by actual activity. Either that, or they are revolting against my eight-hour stretches of inactivity. Desk jobs suck, because it is so easy to not move a muscle above the waist.
Which brings us back to sex, again. I have no clue why, but I've been checking out absolutely everyone at work. Thinking about possibilities, embarrassing myself by imagining such possibilities... god, does it ever end? Is it even bloody natural to be thinking about it so often?
I've finally found out about my schedule at work. I've got December 24th, 25th, and the 26th off, and have to work New Year's Eve, but only until eleven. I actually get New Year's Day off. (So I can suffer in private, thankfully.) Other than that, I'm working endlessly, it seems. I like the job, and I hate the job. Rather, I hate the fact that I can be easily satisfied with a job that doesn't require much. I do my best, don't get me wrong, but I can't say that I loooove my job. I don't hate it either, entirely. It just is. And, I guess I'm complacent enough to let things be. I've met some good friends there, and am, frankly, just glad to actually be working. My stats are improving, and I'm confident enough now, where I don't think I can't handle anything that is thrown in my direction. So what else is there? Moving upwards? There are a lot of opportunities for advancement, but, for now, I'm unsure. I'm not really interested in applying for a supervisory position. It seems like a whole lot of work, for very little extra money. And the hours are worse. But, it is a title, if that means anything. Doing quality reviews seems like an alright job, but I don't know if it is for me. I guess the one job that I am interested in is in the teaching positions. I'm going to give it some time though... I'm not entirely certain.
Blah. I meant to write something awesome, something inspiring, something worthy.
Maybe next time.