It hurts to be a mommy sometimes.
My girl came home from school last week and was acting strangely. She looked sort of down and like she had a secret at the same time. I waited until the right moment and she finally told me that while she was at school, during circle, she had let a loud fart rip. And then she told me she cried.
I was in the middle of starting to laugh, until I remembered how embarassing life can get for a child. I haven't blushed in years, but I remember doing so frequently as a girl, and the tears that would follow when I was alone. I remember days where I wouldn't want to go back to school, where I wanted to change schools for doing or saying something stupid the day before. And I remember how alienating life can seem when everyone laughs at you, not with you.
So my daughter sat on my lap for a long time, crying out her shame and her disappointment. I couldn't believe how hot with guilt she was, and how exhausted she seemed after she had finally stopped shedding tears.
I hugged her for a long time. And later, made her laugh about it, too. Everything is all right now, but I can't help but think about how my daughter's pain can cause me tears, even if no blood has been shed.