Back on the night shift, and once again, I am both dreading and looking forward to it.

Technically speaking, the night shift sucks because after a certain timeline, certain programs are shut down and we begin on back up mode.  Nothing can get done for people in a hurry, and even though we have a backup program, its proper to advise that if we even try to do it on the backup system, it could end up taking 20 times as long. Better to wait the 5 hrs and callback in the morning, than to try it on the backup system. But people don't like hearing the word 'no' and fight back at anything that might be considered an inconvenience.

The good thing about being on backup is that once you explain the process (which, by the way, is explained in a recording before anyone even speaks to me!) it's just hi and bye.

I don't get to see much of Kole while on nightshift. She's at school when I'm sleeping, I'm just firing it up when she's home from school.  Now that she's older, it's actually easier....for her, but I'm still sad and lonely when she's not there.

I do get more of a nightlife.  I'm not on overnights, just working until 1am.  Last call is at 2:00, which gives me time to pull up a bar stool, order a pint and watch CNN or one of the endless Simpsons repeats that seem to play on the bar tv. I'm not much of a socializer right after work. I need me some downtime after talking to all those people. Sometimes I do a crossword, or a suduko puzzle. Usually, I just peoplewatch. Watch others try to hook up, listen in on final conversations of the evening.

But I don't hit the bar every night.  No sometimes, I just ride my bike around town. I turn on my walkman and ride the bike trails, hoping I don't see any hungry bears or skunks along the way.  I ride by the river, and even over the sounds of Johnny Cash or CCR, I can hear the rush of water flowing in the opposite direction I am heading in. It's different at night; no fancy/flashy joggers in their glow in the dark gear, no teenaged skateboarders on the way to the skatepark, and no shaven bike racers, with their aerodynamic helmets.

Instead it's just me.

And while other people work the nightshift alongside me, sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. The only one awake, aware and lost somewhen else, for the next 4 weeks.