anti-prose. random matter.
drawing lines...
Published on October 12, 2004 By crimson In Blogging
I'm sick of the endless bickering. I'm tired about watching war on tv. I'm incensed about the commericalization of everything. I feel bitter, I feel like ranting and raving loudly in the streets, and more importantly, for some strange reason, I feel pleased at the white hot rage-on I've got going.

I feel like a mad dog might feel when he wants to clamp down on a human's leg. Salivating at the thought of satisfied revenge and torment. It's ironic that the more that I dislike watching other people fight and hurt one another, that I can find immense pleasure at doling out my own rabid thoughts.

What I need now is love. A long embrace in the whipping wind. Deepening a friendly kiss into panting and gasping for air kind of exchange. I need butterlies and silly love poems. A single flower in a crystal vase. I need to spend hours beautifying my world around me. I need melt-in-your-mouth chocolate, and I need deep, steady rocking.

What I need is a break from my own worst enemy: my mind. I need to escape from my whirlwind feelings, need to break free from my tilting thoughts. I need wreckless moments of rushing adreneline, and I need the shifting deliriousness of dancing until dawn. I need the pleasant fogging of a brain in overdrive. I need peace and lazy slumber. A cat nap in the sun. I need to luxuriate on flannel sheets, a crisp white blanket of down surrounding me. Fluffy, cloud-like pillows, and a warm scent in the air. Slipping into a dreamless sleep, knowing nothing but peace, calmness and pure content.

I need.

Comments
on Oct 12, 2004
Nick, you are very good with description.  I felt warm all over when you described the flannel sheets and fluffy pillows and cat nap in the sun.  I wish I could help out.  I will send good vibes your way and send you the best of wishes.
on Oct 12, 2004
I hear ya. A good scream in a pillow helps, I've been told, and it does work. Plus maybe a girls night out?!
on Oct 19, 2004
i know exactly how you feel...