Sometimes, I'm such a bloody phony.

I'm in week 4 of training, and though I've previously worked there before, I was required to re-train as I had been offsite for more than a year.  Fair enough. I'd be concerned if they just threw me back onto the floor without any sort of reintroduction.  Alas, I was sent right back in with the beginners, which, in my opinion, is pretty poor business; I really only needed about a week of review, followed by maybe an extra day or two in billing tutorials.  Add a day or so of double-jacking (where you plug in with a 'live' consultant), and I could have been added to a team within a fairly easy two weeks. 

Of course, nothing can be easy in this kind of industry.  Instead, I'm getting a full 6 week training period. What has resulted is an unbroken streak of 100% in testing, followed by a fondness for napping in class, skipping out for cigarettes and coffee whenever I damned well please, 7 fiction books, 1 non-fiction book, and 12 plays read, as well as mastering the art of sudoku.  Plus, I'm getting damned good at origami.

I'm surprised at what I still remember.  After more than a year and a half away, I still remember 10 digit phone numbers to certain departments, passwords for computer programs and entry lockcodes. And, from the hip, I can still hit every single quality category in my sleep.  "I'm so sorry to hear about that, Mr So-and-so. Why don't you let me take care of that for you? Yes, I can definitely help you out. By the way, did you know that you can keep track of your own minute usage by pressing #min# on your cellphone? But just to let you know, you've used 500 minutes of your 600 minute rate plan. Was there anything else I can assist you with, Mr So-and-so?"

The word 'definitely' is the clincher.  It always keeps my quality marks high, as it provides 'assurance'. But yes, I do realize I sound freakin' smarmy, but it's a requirement. In fact, customer survey says that 90% of customers would prefer this type of statement over "You dumbass, #min# is listed on your bill, on our website, and on our muzak ads while you are on hold. You are a complete waste of flesh, but we value your money. You've only got a hundred minutes left. Try making that last until the 29th, buddy. Click."

Another day, another dollar.