I do the same thing with the bank (and also have a retirement account). I "hide" money from myself all the time just in case one of us were to lose a job.
Don't worry about "neat" hair. Just take the Janis Joplin approach to it. Maybe wear some tie tye with it.
The smoking is what is probably making you tired. I used to smoke. I noticed that I had a lot more energy when I quit. I think the added oxygen helped
Hope things are going well. Check in when you can!