anti-prose. random matter.
Published on May 20, 2004 By crimson In Blogging
I've been blogging for the past couple of days simply because I've been staying at my parents' house and I can't find anything better to do while waiting. I'm trying to divert my attention to what's really going on, but it's impossible.

My grandmother has been very sick. She's been in the hospital for the past week, and isn't expected to continue on. She took her ventilator tube out last night, and so far, is still alive. Her body is fighting against her own wishes. After many phone calls, my father issued the DNR with consultation with her doctor. It's what she wants, too, but for now, nothing can be done but to try to make her comfortable. The immediate family is in Toronto, and the rest of us are at our own homes, waiting for the inevitable phone call to come.

I took my niece from daycare early, and Kole should be home anytime. My sister and I are finding comfort with our children, who, thankfully, had a chance to get to know our Nana, but are unaware of what is currently happening.

How do you find the words to explain?

Comments
on May 20, 2004
You will find a way to explain. It is hard to wait for the inevitable. Death although it happens to all of us, is unnatural so our bodies usually fight. The best thing you can do for yourself is talk about the Nana that you love and remember. Tell stories about her to your daughter. My daughter's grandparents are only alive when my husband speaks of them.

I'm sorry that you are losing your grandmother. Even though you've expected it, it is hard.
on May 20, 2004
You will find a way to explain. It is hard to wait for the inevitable. Death although it happens to all of us, is unnatural so our bodies usually fight. The best thing you can do for yourself is talk about the Nana that you love and remember. Tell stories about her to your daughter. My daughter's grandparents are only alive when my husband speaks of them.

I'm sorry that you are losing your grandmother. Even though you've expected it, it is hard.
on May 20, 2004

Nicky, I am so sorry to hear what is going on.  I don't know if you really can explain.  The best you can do is try to help Kole understand that nothing lives forever and it is OK to be sad. 

I have no idea what I will do when a family member dies.  My daughter has to have funerals for Goldfish and cries about their death.  She says they go to "fishy heaven" (her own thing that she came up with) and they play with the other fish.  The toilet obviously leads the way to fishy heaven as that is how we send them off

I hope your Grandma has a peaceful end and that your family finds some sort of comfort.

on May 20, 2004
Nicky, you and your grandmother are in my thoughts.
on May 20, 2004

Nic, I'm thinking of you and your family too.


Kole's a bright kid, I think she's going to be able to understand that your Nana had a long life, but that her body got old and worn out.  Like Karma said, nothings lasts forever.


Namaste, Nic.

on May 20, 2004
on May 21, 2004
I'm so sorry to hear about your Nana. I think losing a grandparent is extremely hard.
I agree that keeping her memory alive is comforting. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Kelly
on May 21, 2004
Nicky, how are you doing?   You and your family have been in my thoughts.
on May 21, 2004
Nicky. I'm so sorry for you and your family.

It is good that you can be there for one another right now.

You are in my thoughts during this hard time.

Jess
on May 21, 2004
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
on May 21, 2004
Everyone,
Thanks for your kind words and thoughts. My grandmother, seems to be improving from this immediate crisis, but unfortunately has cancer. They don't think that she will be undergoing any further treatment.

She just celebrated her 90th birthday a month ago, and has lived a full life. She is being kept comfortable, and thankfully, I will have a chance to visit her tomorrow if all goes well. The kids really don't understand what is happening, but we are definitely thankful that they have been able to spend the time with her that they have. I'm feeling a lot better; thanks so much, my friends.
Nic.
on May 24, 2004
My grandmother passed away, last night. She will be missed by so many friends and, of course, family. The girls both cried for a long time, and I couldn't help myself, either. I did get to say goodbye to her... that was a comfort to be able to let her know that I loved her.
Nic.
on May 24, 2004

Nicky, I'm sorry for your loss.  Your grandmother sounded like she was wonderful person, and she had a good long life.


I'm glad that you got to say goodbye, Nic. 


Thinking of you and your family....


Dharma.

on May 24, 2004

Nicky, I am sorry for your loss.  It is never easy to lose someone you care about.  Sounds like your Nana had a full life with lots of people that loved her.  Let the kids remind you of what life is all about.  They have a way of brightening the darkest moments.


Best wishes.

on May 24, 2004
I'm so sorry. Getting to say goodbye is important. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.