I'm a Coward, I'll Admit It

but not proudly...

Published on May 11, 2004 By crimson In Sex & Romance

I'm not good with ending relationships.

I'm pretty good with confrontation, in general; I'm an assertive and diplomatic person. However, when it comes to not wanting to see somebody again, I would rather they just 'got the hint', than actually say the words that will make them leave.

Which is puzzling, in a way. I know in my heart that what is done is done. I don't think that anything can be gained or received in continuing on with something that is destined to go nowhere. For all those who brag that they always remain friends with their exes... hey, good for you. Really.

The thing is, I can separate friendship from romantic notions, too. I don't bear any ill will in this instance, but I don't see any point in continuing on the friendship either. Is this wrong? Because, really, romantic or not, I was let down. There were things that I did for this person that I wouldn't do for just anyone. And, in the end, I wised up. Saw the wrong in what I was doing in regards to love, and learned that I deserved something more in return. I don't hate him, but I don't particularly care for him anymore either. I expected more from him, and since it won't ever work out, why stick around? There's not a lot to talk about anymore, and our common interests and circle of friends have changed as well.

So why do I find it hard to say those words that explains it all, nicely, firmly and diplomatically? Why do I find it easier to avoid the house, and leave my cellphone at home, so I don't have to return his fifteenth call in less than two days? Arrrgh...

Life sucks, sometimes.

Comments

JeremyG

on May 11, 2004

The best breakup I ever had, for both sides, was stopping all contact entirely. Not returning her phone calls etc. It pained me to do it, I hated it...I almost gave in a couple times by calling to "soften it". But I held strong.

A year or so later we met up and all was "ok". That is there was not drama, or second guessing, and the anger and pain had long since turned into "matter of fact".

If you dont really like someone, why stay friends? Life is too short for guilt, and spending time with people just for their sake.

dharmagrl

on May 11, 2004

You've moved on, sister. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I think that avoidance is the way to go for now. Otherwise you'll have all kinds of uncomfortable and awkward questions to answer - a situation that has the propensity to turn bad and leave someone feeling very upset.

Muggaz

on May 11, 2004

GermyG is right Nicky! I mean, if you wanted a friend, you would say as much... I dont completely agree with the whole Ice concept though... its a bit harsh, but then again, unless it was a signifigant realtionship, it doesn't really matter...

It is great when the idiots get the hint though... it makes it so much easier!!!

BAM!!!

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