three strikes and you're out...
Before my crush on a guy who is now a good friend, I had another crush. It went somewhere but it was a weird scenario. He was a 'reeler and pusher'. He'd reel me into thinking that something special was going on, and the moment our relationship started to go in a certain direction he'd push away. This happened over and over. And I took it for a long time. See, we were friends, but I was definitely more interested in him at the start, and he knew it. I never did anything regrettable, but just realized that I was an idiot about him. He moved far away about a year ago, and after kissing him goodbye I began to get over him.
He came back a couple of days ago, and he called me several hours after he got into town. We arranged to meet and spent an enjoyable afternoon. He admitted how much he missed me. He asked me out again later on, and I had all intentions of going. I arranged for a sitter, I got all dolled up and when he called... I didn't answer. I didn't call back, either. I haven't spoken to him since then, and I'm not particularly inclined to get back in touch with him.
Where's it going? I don't know.
All I know is that I've changed somehow. I don't feel like making an effort in continuing with our relationship. He's still cute and nice and all, but he's not my type anymore. He's not as fascinating as I remembered, and I notice a few faults that he's always had, and have wondered why it didn't bother me then, the way that it bothers me now. I think, that in this situation, I realize how happy I tried to make him and wonder now, why I even bothered. I can't make anyone happy, particularly him. I can't be the answer to his problems or feel that I have to solve things for him. I don't feel that it's my obligation to do that for someone. In fact, I feel the opposite: I want someone who is already secure, satisfied, and is willing to work things out for themselves. There's a difference between offering support and actually being the beam that holds something up.
It's not my deal anymore.