Aside from currently enduring a doozy of a hangover, I feel pretty positive about the New Year.
I think I've outgrown my dark days.
There was a time when everything seemed life or death, when tears would fall bitterly, and I would burn inside with great rage. I struggled with basic emotions, and would bottle it all up, silent until that inevitable explosion. Even now, I thank my mother for loving me every moment. I sure didn't make life easy for her.
These days, I try to look on the bright side of things. I'm no richer, no smarter, no luckier in love than last year, but I seem to have found my stride, nonetheless. I'm glad that I quit that soul-sucking job in customer service, and headed for greener pastures in theatre. I'm never going to be rich, and it is a risky profession, but mygod, I'm happy. It's honest, honourable work, and I'm going to learn a lot.
My girl is growing, growing, growing. I wrote that I would give anything to see her write a paragraph of her own, and she did it yesterday. Yes, there are spelling mistakes galore, and it's incredibly hard to decipher, but she did it herself, and she was so proud to show me. Her occupational therapist says that she is making great improvements, and while she is still struggling, she hasn't lost that love for learning.
I am thinking about learning how to dance this year. I have a friend who teaches all kinds of Carribbean dances, and another who is a traditional Indigenous dancer. They both love this form of expression, and their excitement is contagious. As a family, we've decided to get as many dance movies and videos together and learn the steps to some of the dances. My girl and I can already do the Thriller dance, though I can't moonwalk. I wouldn't mind being able to bust a move!
I'm looking forward to seeing some movies like Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Oceans 13, and The Bourne Ultimatum. Fun, frivolous movies, but that's escapism for ya. I'm also looking forward to actually read some books. I'm not following a list, but I simply didn't make time for it last year, and this year, I'm gonna.
Last night was a whirl of emotions. Not to get too much into it, but I got my feelings hurt by a boy who didn't mean it. We kissed and made up, so to speak, and I brought in the New Year with a nice, slow dance. But, I marked the time where I normally would have bolted. Instead, I didn't.
I have a basic list of resolutions that simply carry over from year to year. Some resolutions made last year were actually carried through. Others, well... that's what 2007 is already: full of promise and potential.