anti-prose. random matter.
completely negative output here...
Published on April 10, 2004 By crimson In Blogging
I've had a hate-on all day.

I've been angry, annoyed, upset and generally just pissed off with everything and everyone. Why? Who knows? You'd think I'd be in a better mood because it's so sunny out, and the wind is smelling of spring and promise. There's so much to be happy about: my brother's coming down for the holidays, and it's the first time I've seen him since Christmas. I'm going to go visiting relatives on Sunday, and I've got a copy of the final Matrix movie to watch. But no.... still can't seem to break out of this black pit of emotion.

I feel sorry for Kole, when I have days like these. I haven't been particularly nice to be around, although I am doing my damnedest to not take it out on her. I've gone out of my way to hug her and kiss her, to assure her that I'm not upset with her, but still, I feel very inadequate as a parent right now.

I need some time alone, some nice smelling flowers, a kind word from an old friend. I need chocolate. I need the winning lotto ticket. I need some love and affection. I need my mom. I need.... something.

Blahhhhh.

Comments
on Apr 10, 2004
I think you might have some hormones a-rushin, sister. I feel for ya...I know all too well what misery those can be.

Chocolate makes everything better, though! Sex does too, but it's slightly harder to come by (no pun intended) than chocolate.
on Apr 10, 2004
What about a nice word from a new friend?

Tomorrow's another day Nicky... You will wake up tomorrow, and if you get your head right, you will have forgotten about your troubles of today - yet you will be stronger tomorrow for enduring today.

I know you like the challenging aspect of life -you have done so well thus far, you will always come out on top

BAM!!!
on Apr 11, 2004
This article hits a little too close to home. (Although that probably doesn't help at all).

~Me
on Apr 12, 2004
Thanks Dharma, Muggaz and Enigma...
Dharma: Strange... Chocolate does do wonders... thank goodness for Easter... at least I can blame the consumption of it on the season!

Muggaz: Your comments on my blog and elsewhere always bring a smile to my face. Even though the probabilities of us ever meeting are slim (unless I win the lotto!), I'm glad to know that you are you. You make me happy.

Enigma: It does help to know that others feel the same, and that I'm not insane at times!

Peace.