anti-prose. random matter.
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Published on June 14, 2006 By crimson In Blogging
I've haven't been this broke in a long time.

My work check got eaten by rent, and an unexpected necessary payment. Typically, it's not such a hard deal, or a surprise, to not have much left over after paying the bills. But following a rather expensive (for me) holiday, we didn't have much left in the house in the way of food and drink. Earlier, we had a housing review, that required a late spring cleaning. Subsequently, I tossed a lot of older stuff like dried pastas, beans, and unlabels canned goods, that we just may have eaten this week, if it was still around. Oh well. Better to be hungry than to be dead from questionable food.

I'm sick though, of telling my daughter that we don't have enough for this, or enough money for that. I'm surprised by how often the topic of money has come up since last Friday, and we still have more than a week and a half left to go. I haven't wanted to borrow money from anyone, or go to the foodbank, since, well, since we shouldn't have to do that. It's my fault for forgetting about a bill last week, and to be quite honest, I refuse to feel guilty for taking Kole to Toronto last week and spending money that would have come in handy for this one.

But yeah, we are always thisclose to poor. We've a roof over our heads but that's about it. (Things were made worse when our company downsized, my hours were cut and my account has yet to recover properly from it all.) For awhile there, we were ahead a bit, but with gas hikes, a still outstanding debt that cannot be ignored, and an empty food cupboard, it's going to be tough times for just awhile longer.

The bright news on this rather bleak tale is this: I get my second year bonus in about 30 days. My rent decreased for the next 12 months starting next month by more than 150 bucks. And by then I will have finally paid off a debt that was costing me more than 100.00 a month since last September. I'm not letting my breath out just yet... there's still a month left to go, but by then, I'll be able to breathe a bit easier.

Money. It's the root of all evil. But it makes things easier when I have more of it.

Comments
on Jun 14, 2006
Sorry to hear things are tight, Nicky.

My rent decreased for the next 12 months starting next month by more than 150 bucks


Precisely how did you manage to get that to happen. Mine just went up $150/month--but we split it three ways so it isn't THAT painful.

Don't feel guilty about Toronto. Years from now when this week of skimping on food is a distant memory, you'll still be looking back fondly on Toronto and the time you spent with Kole. I think your priorities are precisely where they need to be.
on Jun 14, 2006
PS. Check your email.
on Jun 14, 2006
I can understand living on a tight budget. I hope life treats you better. You've got good vibes and thoughts coming from me.

Best wishes, ~Lucas
on Jun 14, 2006
Your story sounds like my youth. Yea, at times, we did not have 2 dimes to rub together. And early starting out, that was the truth as well. I have been there. I hope it gets better for you.
on Jun 14, 2006
It seems that for us, no matter how much we make or what our expenses are, we are ALWAYS coasting on fumes in the last few days before payday. I seem to be particularly skilled at matching my spending to our income. Haha.

I know you don't want to "count your chickens before they hatch", but getting that $100/mo debt paid off and having $150/mo cheaper rent is great news. That's a fair amount of money, and hopefully it will FEEL like a fair amount of money to you guys.

I agree with Sabrina...go grab you some canned goods to keep you afloat until payday.

And NEVER feel guilty about treating your baby to special experiences and outings. Those memories are worth more than any amount of money.

Best wishes, Nicky.
on Jun 18, 2006
Having been down to my last dollar many times, I can sure appreciate what you're going through now, although I bet you wouldn't trade your trip away for all the tinned goods you could put in your cupboard.

I'm glad to hear things are going to get better for you in a month. The rent decrease sounds wonderful.
on Jun 18, 2006
Money can't buy happines, but it can sure help ya choose your misery.

I hope things start looking up for you.
on Jun 18, 2006
*happiness...sorry for the typo