Turned away from it all
Like the blind man
Sat on a fence but it don't work
Keep coming up with love
But it's so slashed and torn
Why why why?
Under Pressure
-Queen/David Bowie
My mind is everywhere and nowhere, it seems.
Listening to the CBC morning radio show one morning, I heard of a woman who claimed that the Queen/David Bowie song Under Pressure always made her cry. I like the song, but admittedly, never really listened to the lyrics of the song, than just bopped my head along to the beat of it. It bothered me so much to realize that there are a great many songs that I forsake the words for, over just a pleasant melody or rockin' riff.
I watched Lord of War the other day, and have been mulling it over, unable to form an honest opinion about morality and personal responsibility.
I'm so conflicted.
I'm tired about talking about the occupation in Caledonia, about the little drug lord that lives in the apartment below me, and about how the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Somewhere, maybe over a nice red wine or a hearty Guinness, other people are making better attempts at talking about the world and where its all gone wrong, and how its all going to end up. They'll be using their 50 point words, elucidating extensively while subtly checking their reflection from the mirror behind the bar.
Do I envy them? It must seem that way, the way I make fun of them.
I'm childless for the weekend. She's gone away up North with my parents to visit her new little cousin. And since I am only in the middle of a 6 day stretch, I'm on my own with nothing to do. There's no money to drink away, and no inclination, either. I can't take another movie, no matter how entertaining, or heart-wrenchingly moving. I don't yearn for some kick-ass music, or some sweet Kung-Fu. I don't want to dance, and I don't feel like eating. I have no cravings for chocolate or fatty McDonald's fries. I don't want to get high, or even yearn for some lovin' action from some unknown person.
I guess I'm lonely and sad though, because for all this nothing, it seems just a bit too much.