anti-prose. random matter.
by some as, and not so good as you.
Published on April 3, 2004 By crimson In Blogging
We’ve seen it before.

Since I’ve been blogging here at Joeuser, I’ve seen more than a handful of people leave. Yeah, there are a lot of people who start blogs up, realize it’s not for them, and then just fade into the sunset. And there are others who feel that it’s time for the grand finale. The big production of goodbye.

The funny thing about writing this article, is that I’ve been meaning to write it for some time now, and it just happens to coincide with another blogger ‘friend’ of mine’s own decision to stop blogging. Funny though, the article that I would have wrote before his own announcement would have been a lot harsher. A lot less polite, and far more easy to write.

There are bloggers who leave on a bad note; those who give up in a forum setting, ‘yell’ profanities, and quit in a huff. Before, I would have written about how useless I thought it all was. If you’re gonna go, then by all means, go. “See you later, what was the point?” We know why you’re going, there’s no need to detail the obvious.

But, it’s always bothered me when people who decide to leave Joeuser on a friendly basis, decide to write a ‘goodbye’ letter. What are they expecting? A flurry of responses from friends who don’t want them to leave? Will any show of support and protest do anything to change their minds? While it’s nowhere close, really, it always reminds me of people who threaten suicide, even though you know, and they know they will never go through with it. I’m not disagreeing that they are in pain, and that they certainly deserve our attention, but it’s like the boy who cried wolf. You can only take so many ‘final’ words before the whole act is... well... just an act.

The thing is, after reading Dan’s, it’s made me reconsider my position. A bit. I do feel sorry for him, because things must be pretty shitty to want to quit blogging in this manner. I myself would rather just stop writing, bit by bit, and not make a big show of it... while letting those I know, know that I care and have felt honored for the opportunity to get to know them.

Things change. People change. Blogging is addictive, but so is living. There are moments when we just want to stay in, check things out here on Joeuser, and continue corresponding with people we consider ‘friends’. We want to find out what’s going on with them, how they are doing, and what they are feeling. But when it gets to that point where you’ve decided to move on, wouldn’t it be better to notify those personally? I mean, yes, this is a blogging group. We write our own things in our own blogs, but the moment we hit that submit button, and have the default still set to ‘show in forums’ or anything other than ‘do not show to anyone else’, we are giving everyone the opportunity to get to know us. The moment we respond to someone else’s article, we are sharing a bit of ourselves.

And I’m not kidding when I write that I know who is reading my blogs on a regular basis. It’s not too hard to figure out who reads just by looking at the regular responses from others. They know who I am because I do the same with them. If I ever decide to part ways with the Joeuser community, you’d bet I’d take the time to do it with respect. I’d send those who I know I’ve cultivated a relationship with a short email, thanking them for reading, and allowing me to have had a chance to enter their world, for a short time. The chances of us meeting everyone here are slim. But, I know that it is difficult to deny the impact that my friends here have had on my life. It would be hard to leave entirely without wanting to check in every once in awhile.

But, it’s not going to happen for me. At least, not right now. Good luck everyone, and keep blogging. And Dan, I didn't want to say this, but I feel I have to. Go. Take some time off, but come back. It's hard to imagine Joeuser without your blog and your interaction with everyone else. You will be missed.

Comments
on Apr 03, 2004
Wow, Nicky, you read my mind......
on Apr 03, 2004
I was actually a little afraid that you were going to drop the bomb on us!!!

I must tell you, i really did take sigh of relief when i realised you were sticking around...

BAM!!!
on Apr 03, 2004
Thanks Muggaz. At first, I didn't know what you were getting at but when I reread I guess I could see your train of thought.
Dharma, same wavelength today! Actually, quite often!