After a month of insecurities, worries and disgust, I now seem to be empty of all that is negative. It seems that overnight it has disappated, like the morning fog. Instead of worrying about what cannot be changed, I've focused on what can be changed instead.
My house is cleaner, and has been relieved of the things that tie me down.
-Papers that date back to my college days: gone.
-Dishes given by well-meaning relatives that are simply not my style: gone.
-Happy Meal toys made by children in China: gone.
-Clothing that I will honestly never wear: gone.
Having mentioned all this, I also lost my bank card. Not that these events are related. In fact, I think I can trace my steps as far back as the country mart where it was last seen. It's all been fixed, because as much as I bitch about having to have a bank account, I at least chose one where the hours of operation are far more convenient. By 9:30 am Saturday morning, it was all good. New card, no money stolen from the account, rent paid for again. The only drawback is that I had just memorized all my account info by heart. Now I've got to learn it all over again.
The night was spent acting the Easter Bunny. Kinda fun, and kinda crazy. At one point, I basically just took a small handful of and lobbed it in the middle of the room. Chocolate rained down, then rolled under the couch, by the Barbie Fun House, near my Pink Converse and by the bookcases. Easy-peasy, and a bit surreal at the same time. I never thought I'd be doing that.
She woke me up with her still-baby squeal, and the next fifteen seconds were followed by frantic screams of delight. And it was over, justlikethat. But not really over. We met up with the cousin and Auntie, packed up for Gramma and Poppa's and then the real hunt began. I'm tired, and already sick of chocolate. There's about 10 pounds of it in a basket, and I can see where it is all going to go. Hello new dress size!
But maybe not.
I rode my bike today, and it was good. I thought that it might be more difficult due to a winter of inactivity, but I made it to work in the same amount of time that it usually does. I wasn't winded at all, although I rode to beat the devil. I'm back on 6am mornings, and while I hate getting up that early, the ride to work is the best. It's nice to drive by houses that are still dark while skies are slowly getting brighter. I don't see sun that early, but by first break, it's there to greet me as I make my way across the road for the am coffee. Time just seems to go faster on an early morning shift. By the time work's done for me, it's all screaming to a head for most people and I can enjoy an easy afternoon of relaxation.
Yes, the morning rides are nice, because it's like the calm before the storm, the big, deep breath before beginning.