the difference between male and female relationships...
Okay, before we begin, most of this is just generality. I mean, I know not every guy would even act this way, and not every girl sees her comments as verbal jabs that way... but I think there are far more consistencies with both viewpoints.
Girls use words as weapons. Guys get back by sleeping with their friends' girlfriends.
My sister read this book once, and said that the common occurence in relationship forming between girls and between boys within each gender is that girls act out their conflicts with words and boys approach it on a more physical level.
For instance, if one girl was slighted by another, that girl might choose to spread a rumour about the other girl in retaliation, whereas the boys would either aggressively duke it out and consider the matter settled or engage in other physical competitions to prove the oneupmanship.
Is this true? I don't know if this is something that has been proven, but going by my own experience, I'd have to agree.
I mean, I'm all up for a good fistfight if it's consentual and nobody is going to get sued in the end. There's nothing like physical violence to get out all the anger. And lots of times, it's a lot less scarring. I've been hurt far worse with a few well-directed aims to my psyche than a left-hook to the jaw or a cuff on the head. The problem is: very few girls are apt to duke it out. At least, the girls that I have met. And funny enough, I'm friends with far more girls who would be up for a good fistfight instead of holding the opinion that violence solves nothing. I'm not saying that it does, and I'm not saying that violence is acceptable, without terms and without limits. Stomping on someone to near-death is bad. Just unexpectedly bringing someone down with a shot to the nose, is also bad.
But its funny, I've seen guys figure a disagreement is solved, just because the other managed to strike out the other during an intense game of baseball. Sometimes, fouling a guy and then stuffing a basketball can really solve the problem in disagreement. And often that method and outcome is really the final word on it all. The unspoken word.
After saying all that, I don't disagree that conversation is really the best method to solve problems. But 'true' conversation. Not digs at your lifestyle, or your latest relationship, but a true disscussion of the problem without bringing up past issues. I haven't been in a fistfight in years, but I have been hurt by words that were hurled directly at my heart and soul that had no bearing on the actual issue.