anti-prose. random matter.
it's your problem, not mine.
Published on March 9, 2006 By crimson In Blogging
I really am fat. I'm not going to give numbers or dress sizes or anything, but really, it's no big deal. I'm fairly active, I'm pretty smart, and am quite easy to get along with. I don't have a problem socializing with men (or women) and while I don't have an endless line-up of dates, it's got more to do with my own commitment issues than the wobbly bits that I possess.

There was a time (albeit briefly) where I weighed everything I ate on a plastic scale. I once knew the caloric content, the fat content and the carbohydrate value of almost any edible product out there. I knew just how many calories I would burn if I spent 45 minutes on the Stairmaster, and spent thousands of dollars on gym memberships, athletic wear, and excercise gear.

But not any more.

I got burnt out, and made myself even more unhealthy by obsessing over little things like having butter on my toast, which I like, or hopping on the scale, like I used to do about thirty times a day. I literally would make myself sick if I didn't make my nightly run before 7:pm, and felt completely disappointed in myself if I didn't make it to 6:30 am step aerobics. Add a child to the mix, and full-time studies in university with a 100% courseload and a part-time job, it was no wonder that something was going to give. I lost almost 40 pounds, but I was starting to lose a lot more than just weight.

I graduated with honours, and I had some time left to find a job. And I couldn't. So I took my girl out of daycare, and at the age of 4, we transitioned to a life at home. It was hellish in some ways, but definitely a pleasure in many, many others. Looking back, I believe that I had some sort of semi-breakdown. In fact, I'd almost want to label it post-partum deppression, because suddenly, after 4 years of exhausted, on the fly living, both Kole and I came to a full stop. It was the first time that I had spent that much time with her. She was lucky to have a placement at a fine, university daycare, which worked out well for me to drop in between classes. But once I was able to spend weeks at home with her, I realized how difficult it was. And I realized that the workouts were actually more harmful to me, rather than helpful. Mentally, and physically. I was so exhausted, and worn out from the hectic pace that I set for myself, that there was no major benefit being gained.

Like psychiatric help, I think I benefit more by focusing on my so-called problems less.

I stayed at home with her for a year or so. And then I went back to work. Again, it was back to being busy, back to rushing, and trying to figure out some decent method in time management. But it became easier without the gym schedules, scales, and diet entries. Instead, if I want to burn off some energy, I try to catch a game with a pick-up league in town. I go for hikes on the drumlin, and I ride my bike to work. I eat what I want to eat, and when I notice my jeans becoming tighter, I either suck it up and ban beer and bread for a bit, or I simply buy a more roomy pair.

Yes, I'm fatter than I once was, but I'm no less of a person because of it. People who assume that I'm letting myself go, are assuming incorrectly. I'm a lot healthier now, than I was back then. I don't have a problem with my fatness. I'm not afraid of the word fat and I'm not ashamed of it either. And yes, there are days that I wish I could be more toned and muscular, but I remind myself of what it takes to do it. And when I feel like it, I do take the long way home instead, or just give it when doing laps at the pool. I know that I can be a lot thinner if I want it bad enough. But for the time being, I'm happy the way things stand.

Fat is not a problem, it's just where I am at, for now.

Comments
on Mar 09, 2006
Nicky--you are a brilliant writer.
on Mar 09, 2006
I second that,  and also say that NickyG "you've got a big heart!"  that's all the "big" you need to concern yourself with!
on Mar 09, 2006

Amen, sistah.  A-fucking-men.

I recently scrapped my diet plans.  I was beating myself up for being a size 13 (junior's sizes) and I was going to go buy one of those plastic scales you talked about.  I was going to weigh and measure and add and subtracts and count this and that and the other; I was going to work out 7 days a week and run and whip my body back into shape.

Then I looked in the mirror, and I saw myself.  And all the workout plans and diets and all the ridiculousness of trying to be 4 sizes smaller than is healthy for you; all the stupidity of size actually mattering hit home and I saw how it doesn't fucking matter what size I am or what my weight is.  What matters is ME.  Am I same?  Yes.  Am I happy?  Yes. 

And that's all that matters.

{{{{Nic}}}

You warm my heart, chickie.

on Mar 09, 2006
That is what it is all about. How we feel about ourselves, not what others think.

I am trying to lose weight now. Not because I feel forced to, but because my pants didn't fit and I was running out of gas.

Even though I am trying to lose weight I am trying to do it healthy. By eating right and I don't weigh anything out. I am just not that into the details.

I think as long as we are happy about ourselves that is what matters.
on Mar 10, 2006
I use to feel insecure and always compare my weight and size to the models on every front page magazine, boy was I being hard on myself! The realization is, You still can have weight on you and be happy. I started working out and eating healthy. I finally have figured it out!!!!!! If you want to lose weight, these are some simple rules I live by:

1. Change your lifestyle ie; Your way of thinking,
Think more Me ...Me Me..,because if you don't no one else will.

2. Change your eating habits....more healthy food choices, and I don't mean diet food.
basic food guide, eating smaller portions.

3. Never.....Never....weigh yourself during the process......
(Not unless you are under a weight program through your family doctor) this is where you can become discouraged!
You will notice the inches lost before the pounds. You will also notice it in your clothing, things will
eventually become to loose, or too big.

4. Have a piece of clothing that will become your "Inspiration", or goal.
Hang it up where you can see it everyday, visualize yourself in it!

5. Exercise 20 mins each day, walking, treadmill, cycling, swimming, gardening,
whatever you enjoy being active with.

6.. Treat yourself at least once a week. Eat healthy 6 days out of 7
On your 7th day eat what ever you want.

7. Last but least remember the Golden rule.......The weight didn't drop on overnight,
so there is always the TIME FACTOR, take your time with it and it will truly happen.

8. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people,
they will encourage you the days that you feel like binging.

9. Love yourself, yes.....LOVE YOURSELF.......we are all beautiful, we just have to believe it.

10. Keep a journal or food diary, writing down and pre planning your meals can be fun, No excuses!!!!! Take the time.....
remember it is for YOU! I have been following all of this and my goal is to lose 85. llbs. I have lost 20lbs in the lat 8 weeks!

Remember the key is a positive attitude, patience, and making a commitment to YOU
I hope this will help others out there who are struggling with the battle of weight loss. I felt the need to share this and pass
it along, because someone else cared enough to share their same story.

It's not rocket science, we make commitments to all of the wrongs things in our lives on a daily basis.
When you do the reverse, it turns it into a positive way of thinking. I think we all could use a little encouragement
now and then, and I would like to propose a weekly blog of meetings for feedback, encouragement, healthy food recipes,
kindred spirts, and most of all SUPPORT
on Mar 11, 2006
Then I looked in the mirror, and I saw myself.


See, that's my point... it's a personal thing. How I view myself is far more important than how any body else might. "We" need to define what is good for us, even if it goes against the grain of media hype, peer pressure and guilt tripping. I definitely advocate physical excercise and better food choices, but I'm decidedly against killing myself for it.
on Mar 11, 2006
I think we all could use a little encouragementnow and then, and I would like to propose a weekly blog of meetings for feedback, encouragement, healthy food recipes, kindred spirts, and most of all SUPPORT


I believe that Texas Wahine has a blog group for this purpose. A good bunch of people, with excellent intentions.
Best of luck.
on Mar 17, 2006
Nicky--you are a brilliant writer.


I agree. One of the best here for sure.
on Mar 22, 2006
You know what, the most attractive people in the world are those happy with themselves, regardless.

I either suck it up and ban beer and bread for a bit, or I simply buy a more roomy pair.


And make more room for beer... I admire the logic

Stay real and stay true to yourself. It is all that really matters IMO.