It's funny/unexpected/nice how, as a single parent, I get offers of babysitting services from friends that I know well enough, but haven't let them into that part of my life. Generally, if I go out on my own, it's when my girl is already being looked after by my parents or her auntie. So, these people that I know so well, are apart from my day to day life with Kole. I generally don't take anyone up on offers to babysit outside of my family. I have a several girlfriends who are also raising kids on their own, but really, are kids are good for a couple of hours together... any more than that, and we'd all rather arrange our own childcare so we can hang out together, as adults. I actually resist in babysitting my friends children simply because it starts off on this weird 'I looked after your kid last week, can I just drop off mine for a couple of hours this week?' The oweing of sitting starts to become more of a chore than just doing something out of the goodness of your heart. Not that I never babysit in an emergency, but you get my meaning.
But the offers that have been given lately, have been interesting. A friend of mine, offered to hang out with Kole. On his own. Said that it might help him to decide what he wanted in life. (Note that we have nothing going on, it wasn't personal in that context.) It turned out to be a no-go. A good idea at the time, but his reality is that he's super-busy running his own business and enjoying life without regular child responsibilities. That's cool... I bear him no ill will at all because of it... I found it hard to imagine him having the time to do so, anyway.
But, another friend of mine talked about it, and for the past couple of weeks, he and I have been doing things with Kole, so she could get to know him better. I don't know if any other country has this program going on, but in Canada we have a BigBrother/BigSister program where a person volunteers their time to spend with a child. Just to hang out, have fun and offer the child a new perspective as far as their circle of people that they know. The program has an extensive screening process that my friend and I felt wasn't necessary. I know him, trust him, and really believe that he can be a good influence and friend to her.
It's working out all right. We've all gone bowling together, hung out and played board games and are arranging a variety of dates in the future. They both get along so well with each other. And the thing that I am surprised about is how proud they seem to realize that they are both liking each other for their own reasons and inclinations. I try to stand aside from this process of building a relationship, but can't help to become more involved in knowing him, too. I'm surprised by how much my respect grows for him with leaps and bounds.
I can't tell who's the winner in this situation... Kole for learning to like people on her own and realizing that they like spending time with her too, B. for earning the growing respect and friendship from Kole, or me, for taking the pleasure in seeing two people change because of this new friendship.
Life is good.